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Madam Hoochová: „Vy jste dneska nějaký vygumovaný"
Profesorka Červotočková: „ U těch ploštěnců je to tak, že ty tam do sebe mlátěj těma pohlavníma orgánama, že tam je to o tom, kdo to do koho dřív strčí."
Profesorka Červotočková: „ Herpetologie studuje plazy. Napíšeme tvrdé y, protože studuje koho čeho."
Profesor Lupin: „ Je příjemné splést se příjemně."
Ronald Weasley: „ Zásobní látka u rostlin je kořen."
Profesorka Prýtová: „ Učím už nějaký ten pátek, ale tohle slyším poprvé."
Profesor Snape: „ No, jak dosáhnete zvýšení teploty? To budete běhat jako Mrazík kolem Nastěnky?"
Profesor Snape: „ No, jak uvedeme kapalinu do pohybu? Zejména děvčata to znají..."
Pansy Parkinsonová: „ Já bych na to nepřišla." 
Profesor Snape: „ Od toho tu jsou jiní."
Draco Malfoy: „ Jenže co když to bude v písemce?"
Profesor Snape: „ To by tam dal jenom blázen."
Ronald Weasley: „ Že toho blázna známe?"
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Profesor Binns: „ To by mě zajímalo, co může být neplochého na ploché mapě.“
Neville Longbottom: „ Špendlíky“
Profesor Binns: „ Nejpřesnější mapou Země je …“
Ronald Weasley: „ Politická“
Profesor Binns: „ …globus“
Profesor Binns: „ Jižní pól byl…“
Pansy Parkinsonová: „ Támhle ty dvě malý koule,“ a ukázala na mapu za Binnsem.
Profesor Binns: „ Tak zvané mumie…“
Pansy Parkinsonová: „ A jak se dostával, pane profesore, mozek z té mumie? Třeba jako vyfouknout vajíčko?“
Profesor Binns: „A vše začalo končit buržoazní revolucí.“
Profesor Snape:„ A když to smícháte, dělá to tam ten brajgl, o kterém se budeme ještě učit.“
Profesor Snape: „ Otázka, kterou budu klást tobě, je jednoduchá, vyšetření … no, to spíš potřebuji já … využití asfodelu.“
Několik obětavých jedinců dělalo o Vánocích pro studenty nadílku.
Profesor Snape: „ Kdo ještě chybí?“
Dean Thomas: „ Grangerová, ale ta dělá anděla.“
Profesor Snape: „ Tak to mám buď peklo milostivo.“
Profesor Snape: „ Ty lektvary u vás to je utrpení mladého Pottera.“
Profesor Snape vpadne do učebny na suplování.
Profesor Snape: „Otevřete okna, nedá se tu dýchat...!“
Harry Potter otevře jedno okno.
Profesor Snape: „ Řekl jsem pořádně, Pottere!“
Ronald Weasley: „ No, jo, ale vy jste votužilej!“
Profesor Snape: „ Longbottome, Doušek živé smrti, Kostirost, Mnoholičný lektvar jsou názvy a proto se všechny píšou s velkým D!“
Profesor Snape: „ Dneska budeme hovořit o tématu posilujících lektvarů. Tak si to zapište do učebnice.“
Profesor Snape: „Zamilovanost je mrhání energií. Zabírá vám 80% myšlenek.“
Profesor Snape si zapomněl důležitou přísadu v kabinetě a tiše si vrčí sám pro sebe: „No to je jasný, protože jsem co? Protože jsem co? ... No jsem debil!“
Ronald Weasley: „ Svatá pravda.“
Profesor Snape: „ Pro pár facek mám zkratku P.F.“
Ronald Weasley hlásí svoji známku z testu: „ Pět.“
Profesor Snape špatně slyší: „ Doufám, že pět, ne dvě.“
Profesor Snape: „Teď vám pustím plyn a nebo....“
Profesor Snape: „Základní polohy máme dvě - vertikální a horizontální.“
Ronald Weasley: „Zbytek v Kámasutře."
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